Dear Lauren Conrad’s Cousin,
We met at The Shannon in Hoboken on November 2nd 2007 at 11:13 pm. There is no doubt in my mind that you won’t find this, as you seemed very self-aware and someone who might google their own name or simply “Lauren Conrad’s cousin”. I’ll never be able to share with you the rush of excitement as I looked over and saw your Laguna t-shirt. I know Belle felt the same and while it was her who spoke first - it was me that watched. I watched as your mole grew into a piece of a dirt and then slowly back into a mole again. I watched your friend roll his eyes as you started texting LC. I watched as your face lit with joy when Belle asked where Lance and Ash were spotted kissing and you immediately shouted Gramercy Park Hotel! I watched it all. Just like Liz watched as she plucked Lauren out of a plethora of blue eyed, blonde Orange County teenaged girls. And just like God and baby Jesus watch down on Adam Divello. Thank You Lauren Conrad’s cousin. You made my night.
Love,
Beau
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