Wednesday, May 11, 2011

I sort of like reality TV

It all started in 1992.

I was 9 and six strangers were plucked from obscurity to live in a house and have their lives taped.

"Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real… The Real World"

(Today I can say that in 7 different languages)

But it was this show The Real World that ultimately changed the way I watch tv because without The Real World and Road Rules there would be no Big Brother or Jersey Shore, no Fear Factor, Survivor or Amazing Race. No The Osbournes and lets face it, The Osbournes are the founding fathers of reality TV. Without those crazy fucks we would never have Gene Simmons Family Jewels, no Run’s House, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. No Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here, I Want to Work for Diddy, I Want To Be A Hilton, I Wanna Be a Soap Star. Scream Queens - would NOT exist. There’d be no True Life, Surreal Life, Simple Life, Buried Life, College Life, Dancelife, or My Life is a Sitcom. Made, Jackass, Punk'd, Life of Ryan, Pimp My Ride, Maui Fever, Rich Girls, Surf Girls, remember The Paper? Laguna Beach?? That spawned The Hills, The City, Bromance and the heinous Audrina.

None of these things would be possible without The Real World.

What would DVR be like? What would I be like??

For one thing... I’d probably read more.

But what is book smart when there is street smart? I’ve seen Celebrity Rehab and Sober House. I’ve seen Intervention, Thintervention and Hoarding: Buried Alive. Bad Girls Club taught me how to open a beer bottle with a lighter. Oprah’s Big Give taught me how to give.

I know what beauty is because I watched 8th and Ocean, Models NYC and The Agency.

I’ve probably learned just as much about the world watching Sarah Palin’s Alaska as I have Paris Hilton’s My New BFF.

And while there will always be my interest in the celebrity(Being Bobby Brown, Ashlee Simpson Show, Tommy Lee Goes to College, Living Lohan, Salt n’ Pepa, Hey Paula, Leave it to Lamas, Kimora Life in the Fab Lane, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America, Chaotic: Britney and Kevin, Fantasia For Real, 50 Cent: Money and the Power, Diddy’s Making the Band and my all time favorite Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood) it’s the shows about “real" people that seem to inspire me the most. "Real" people like Matt and Amy Roloff, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, Kody and his wives Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn Brown.

These people are my family. They’re who keep me real.

Oh, and also the meerkats on Meerkat Manor. 

Love? What do I know about love? I know Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, A Shot at Love, For Love or Money, I Love Money, I Love New York, Daisy of Love, Megan Wants a Millionaire, Real Chance of Love, Bachelor, Bachelorette, Temptation Island, and Frank the Entertainer: a Basement Affair and did I ever tell you I know someone who knows someone that was on Paradise Hotel (2nd season).

I've seen when love works.

My Fair Brady, Khloe & Lamar, Tori & Dean, Harry Loves Lisa, Giuliana & Bill

And when it doesn't

Liza & David, 'Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave, Jon & Kate plus 8, Viva La Bam, Meet the Barkers, Hogan Knows Best

And whenever Super Sweet 16 gets old you can just change to 16 and Pregnant

Or Teen Mom

Or Teen Mom 2.

Which brings me to something...the wives. Oh, how I love me some wives.

Mob Wives, Basketball Wives, Football Wives, Ex Wives Club, and all the Real Housewives.

And the original ‘housewife’... The Anna Nicole Show

But if I had to pick a favorite. If Police Women of Broward County had a gun to my head and made me choose. I would have to say, American Idol. But I’ll settle for America’s Next Top Model, America’s Best Dance Crew, or America’s Got Talent or if I’m really desperate America’s Next Great Restaurant.

I like anything with America in the title.

And to think all this good old fashion American entertainment is because of one show. The Real World.

What a world.