Tuesday, December 4, 2007



Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Dirt Alert

Look familiar?

That's right folks, we're told Hillside Villas is not the actual name of LC and Audrina's pad

Also, is it true that Heidi and Spencer don't actually live at their apartment? A source close to the couple tells Belle and Beau that they just film for the show there. They actually live with Spencer's parents.

This should not be surprising for those of you who tuned into the aftershow following Spencer's visit to Crested Butte. Heidi said that she sees his parents all the time, and that they "practically live with them."

This brings up so many questions; if they live with his parents, why the concern over if they know about their wedding? Is the wedding really going to happen? Is this the biggest hoax in TV history?

For those of you who were offended by Spence's lil sis, check out her dark past. Just goes to show, anyone who offends Frankie Delgado has another thing coming...



(Disclaimer to our 5's of 10's of fans out there; the following is from an irate Beau who shares an affinity for sea life with his counterpart, Zach. If you know anything about the whereabouts of the jellyfish mentioned below, plese let him know. Thank you - Belle)

Seriously, what keeps happening to Heidi's pets? First Bella and now the Jellyfish! Does anyone actually believe Heidi forgot to pay the electric bill? It doesnt take a Hills blogger to smell the BUUUULLLLLSHIT. So where are the Jellyfish? Good thing Beau's a certified Open Water Scuba diver. Beau promises to get to the bottom of this scandal... stay tuned.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Everything I ever needed to know, I learned from Lauren Conrad.

My Dad always told me 'Flowers mean I'm sorry, chocolates mean I love you

Love is not a maybe thing; you know when you love someone.

I think that everyone can change if the right person comes along, and I think that every girl wants to be the right person. Every girl wants to be the one girl that can change that guy.

I know there's a difference between good people who do bad things and bad people who do bad things.

Go with your gut, but use your head.

You should have a guy that makes you feel happier, not upset. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

Why is it that just when you get things together, you hear from the one person who could pull it all apart?

I think you just want to be with him when he's the good Justin. But he can't always be the good Justin. And you can't just like half of who a person is.

There's just something about those bad boys that we always end up going back to.

Sometimes, when you love someone? You want to believe that they're good."

Monday, November 5, 2007

Midautumn Night's Dream

It's just a regular Friday night at the Shannon pub in Hoboken. Rihanna resonates in the background as fellow 24 year olds play darts in the corner. Beau and Belle stumble into the bar, drunk and laughing, thinking of pizza and reality TV.

After a quick shot of Patron, Beau notices a boy sitting at the bar in a red t-shirt that says, "Laguna." After letting out an audible gasp, he pokes Belle and points at the wonderous apparel. Belle finishes her Miller Lite in one giant gulp before turning to this boy.

Belle: Um, excuse me? But like, are you FROM Laguna?

Boy: Yeah, actually, I am.

(Beau gasps)
Belle: OMG shut it! I can't, thats amazing.

Boy: Actually, I'm Lauren Conrad's cousin.

(Lights immediately dim on the entire bar, spotlight shines on Beau, Belle, Boy, and Boy's down-on-his-luck friend. Beau steadies himself against the bar, Belle gasps, Boy looks on smugly)

Belle: WHAT?!?! omg omg omg no WAY! You're so lying.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: I'm not I swear.

Belle: I'm going to quiz you. Where does Lauren go to school? What is Lauren's younger brother's name? Where did Lauren spend her 20th birthday? Where did Lauren spend her 21st birthday? Where was Lauren and Stephen's first kiss?

Lauren Conrad's cousin: FIDM. Brandon. Mexico. Surprise party thrown by Heidi in LA. Her bedroom, after looking at yearbook photos for a potential boyfriend.

Belle: My god. You are for real.

Beau: I'm not convinced, prove it.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: Fine. I'll text her right now.

(Cousin fumbles with his Blackberry while Beau and Belle hold hands - two minutes elapse, Beau and Belle each finish a beer while Boy drums his fingers on the bar. Suddenly, the ding of a text message)

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: See? She wrote back.

(Beau and Belle peer over his Blackberry, in their drunken haze they only notice the words "lauren" and "i'm here with brody." Beau and Belle freak out)

Beau: What do you know? Tell us what you know, tell me secrets, tell me everything.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: Lo is a cokehead, my friend dated her in high school. Lauren really didn't want to do this season of the Hills. Also, it ends with Heidi dumping Spencer and her and Lauren being friends again.

Belle (in disbelief): What!? How?? They were just on the beach last week filming her music video.

Lauren Conrad's Cousin: Look, I'm just telling you what I know.

Beau (nervously): Um, can we take a picture with you?

Belle, Beau, Lauren Conrad's Cousin, and his down-on-his-luck friend gather at the corner of the bar and smile for posterity.

Exeunt flourish

Lauren Conrad's Cousin

Dear Lauren Conrad’s Cousin,

We met at The Shannon in Hoboken on November 2nd 2007 at 11:13 pm. There is no doubt in my mind that you won’t find this, as you seemed very self-aware and someone who might google their own name or simply “Lauren Conrad’s cousin”. I’ll never be able to share with you the rush of excitement as I looked over and saw your Laguna t-shirt. I know Belle felt the same and while it was her who spoke first - it was me that watched. I watched as your mole grew into a piece of a dirt and then slowly back into a mole again. I watched your friend roll his eyes as you started texting LC. I watched as your face lit with joy when Belle asked where Lance and Ash were spotted kissing and you immediately shouted Gramercy Park Hotel! I watched it all. Just like Liz watched as she plucked Lauren out of a plethora of blue eyed, blonde Orange County teenaged girls. And just like God and baby Jesus watch down on Adam Divello. Thank You Lauren Conrad’s cousin. You made my night.



Thursday, August 30, 2007

Beau's Poetry Corner - Ode to Adam Divello

A dventurous
D ependable
A wesome
M tv

D iverse
I ntellegent
V irtuous
E legant
L es Duex
L aguna
O pen-minded
Excerpt from Beau's Upcoming LitErotica Corner

It was hard for Heidi to put all of Jordan's things into a box. But deep down she knew it had to be done. It was going to be a rough couple of weeks, and Heidi knew it would be Jordan's stiff cock that she would miss the most. But to get over her break up, she had promised Audrina to go out every night that summer. So that was what she would do. Go to Area and pound a few red bulls, just to get herself back out there.

"We're going to have so much fun" Audrina gushed as she blankly stared at Heidi's new Fendi.

"So much fun" Heidi replied. But inside she already knew it would be a difficult night. Her only hope was to get smashed on red bull and find the first cute boy to fuck. The only way to fill her up, was to literally fill her up.

Area was jumpin' and Heidi felt hot when she walked in with Audrina. "What did you just say?" She turned and asked Audrina

"Right foot. Left foot. It helps to repeat that when I'm walking" Audrina again gushed

Heidi pushed her way through the crowd and cut across the dance floor when she saw him. Black shirt? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Board Shorts? Check. She had met Anthony at an MTV press release, but he was with Chaunte at the time. Well, he was alone tonight and the sight of him in the club was making Heidi's panties damp.

- - - For more on Heidi and Anthony's hook-up keep checking WWJBD - - -

Friday, August 24, 2007

Beau's Poetry Corner


Who would you rather
Buy you red bull at Les Duex?
Jason or Brody

My name's Parisa
Where's my burqa you wonder
At home with Dunbar

Chrissy I'm sorry
embarassing you but we
said no boys, love dad

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Crush, Interrupted.

Two bloggers reflect on the beginning of a new journey; their first blog starring Justin Bobby.

Mission statement?
Say what you mean. Mean what you say. And say it mean.

"Crush, Interrupted"

Belle: Hey party boy.

Beau: Hey party girl. Is anything on our site?

Belle: No I need to brainstorm with you.

Beau: We could post some of our conversations. And I also want a creative writing section. With literotica stories using Real World characters.

Belle: I love it. Okay so... should we have a convo now?

Beau: Should we? Should we use our real names? Is this it? Is this the convo?

Belle: I dont know how to begin.

Beau: I'm so nervous. I feel like Rodrigo y Gabriela crossing the border

Belle: I'm as nervous as Heidi was when she had to tell Lauren she was moving in with Spencer.

Beau: Wow. That such a weird day, she told Lauren and moved out 30 minutes later

Belle: I know. And something tells me she never ended up going to Taco Tuesdays

Beau: I'll tell you who was at Taco Tuesdays

Belle: They sure were.

Beau: ok. Are we done? Was that good?

Belle: I dont know. Should we do that again? Should we post this?

Beau: I dont know!! i'm freaking out!

Belle: Me too.

Beau: I've never blogged before.

Belle: Me neither. Alright I'm going to post it. But lets think of a name for it. Was there any line in any episode about being nervous, or starting something new?

Beau: Crush, interrupted. And umm... we should change our names. What should your name be? I'll be Blade or Bolt. Beau. I'll be Beau

Belle: Great! What should I be?

Beau: Belle? Greta?

Belle: Belle