Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Nuttin' But an NJ Thang

Yo Belle, whats trickin? Its your favorite blogger Beau
I say we take a drive down to Le Chateau
I wanna see 'dem ladies from that crazy Bravo show,
Let's break it down for ya'll, and tell you what we know.

Teresa, hun, what the hell were you thinkin'?
Watching the last supper it was clear you was drinkin'!
You so drunk, making things obscene-a,
be a good mother, and take Gia to Wilhemina!
Teresa so hot, it must be from water aerobics
Too bad her husband Joe is a tad homophobic.

Carolines daughter don't wanna wax no chucky,
Carolines her moms! She should be so lucky.
Caroline's a bitch or so I heard
I once was attacked by her baby german shepard,
until I threw that baby, a damn doggy bone
then threw a party at the classy Brownstone

Hey Beau?
Yeah Belle!
I wanna read cop without a badge
I hear theres some talk about danielles sweaty vag
She so crazy, you hear she was a stripper?
if I saw her in the club, you know that I'd tip her (get a job!)
If she workin da club, you know she gettin tips,
How the hell else you think she paid for dem big ass lips?

Dina's hubby, thanks to you she dont need no job,
Too bad its cuz you runnin' with the Franklin Lakes mob.
Hey Dina, honey, you can't stop Lexi,
Puberty's a bitch, and she's going to be dead sexy
Dina, I love you, but sometimes you need a slap
and that tacky house of yours is chock full of crap.

Jacqueline, you're a sweetheart and your time is in demand,
Quit dragging CJ to your friends house, let him grow to be a man
Jacqueline baby, you are far too nice,
You could learn a thing or two from Ms. Crazy GuidICE.

Dang these ladies sure know how to bring the drama,
It's cool cuz I'm sure they all good mamas.
Watching them at dinner what they need is restitution,
Whatever, peace out, see ya'll at the reunion.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Mother Belle's Nursery Rhymes

(To Three Blind Mice)
Three blonde girls
See them on the Hills
They all moved in to scream and fight
They cut each other down with a carving knife
Did you ever see such a sight in your life?
as three blonde girls?

(To Jack and Jill)
Heidi and Spence went down to 'Rica to cash in on buckets of money,
Heidi got sick and Spencer's a dick and nobody thinks that they're funny!

(To Humpty Dumpty)
Lauren Conrad starred in a show,
Lauren Conrad, Season 6 is no mo'
All the producers and all of the fans,
Couldn't get Lauren on the show again!

(To Five Little Pigs)
Lauren went to the market
Lo stayed home
Heidi had some roast beef
Spencer had none
Audrina cried "wee, wee, wee, wee!"
All the way to the MTV Movie awards.

(To Little Miss Muffet)
Little Miss Patridge, sat on a mattress
Trying not to look vacant and dumb.
Then along came Chris Pine and fed her some wine,
And gave Little Miss Patridge some fame.