Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Real Players of the World Cup

Beau and Belle had a great revelation this weekend when watching the World Cup -  before each game, the players are announced one by one on screen. They each have a dramatic unveiling with a variety of poses - hands on hip, hands crossed over the chest, skinny arm, the list goes on.

It made them feel right at home watching the big game because it was oddly familiar to the Housewives intros. So, they decided to engage in their favorite pasttime, create your housewife tagline. This time though, they pretended to be playing in the World Cup.

(For a goalie): "Ain't no balls allowed in mah house!"

(For a notorious and inappropriate touchy-feely player): "The only chest passes you'll be getting from me will be on the field!"

"For the next 90 minutes, I'll be kicking more than just butts."

(For a cheeky, slutty player): "At home I spend most of my time on my back, but immabout to spend two halves on my feet."

(For the serious player): "I'm the Daniel Day Lewis of soccer - fully committed and gunning for the gold."

(For the idiot on the team): "Roses are red, but my cleats are pink. I'll score a goal faster than you can blink,"

(For the boring player): "I put the GO in GOOOOAALLLLLLL!"

(For the Italian): "I'm serving up this win al dente!"

(For the Israeli): "The only penalty kick I give... is to the tuchus!"

(For Kristen Taekman): "I may not be the best player... but I'm pretty"

(For the transgendered): "you can take the girl out of the game, but you can't take the game out of the girl"

(For the All Star): "I play soccer like I live life... fast, furious, and always winning"

(For the social media stud): I'm going to #win this #game! #winning #sorrynotsorry #100daysofsoccer

(For the North Korean): Help!