And now WWJBD proudly presents a Weekly News Report from Beau.
Hey millions of fans across the world, I wanted to share with you the top stories from this week Feb 22-28. I got two spider bites, one is on my thumb the other my neck. Nadya ‘Octomom’ Suleman tells Dr. Phil babies were a mistake. Suleman has been offered 1 million dollars to star in a porno video however rival porn company has offered a year supply of diapers not to show octopussy. Some bill was passed in Congress. Jason Wahler calls off his engagement to Katja Decker saying the couple is "too young and too sober". Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, Heath Ledger, and Penelope Cruz all take home Oscars.RIP HL <3 4EVER. And finally, the new trailer for Season 5 of The Hills is online at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPXC9oV224k
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
25 Things You Never Knew About Beau and Belle...
1. Beau's real name is Zachary
2. Belle's real names is Eileen
3. Beau's favorite season of the Real World is Seattle and his favorite character Irene
4. Belle's favorite season is Hawaii/ Las Vegas and her favorite character is Colin.
5. In 9th grade, Beau hosted a "Dress like your favorite Real World character" party. Belle dressed as Montana, Beau as Judd.
6. Beau has 9 toes (4 1/2 on each foot)
7. Belle had the second biggest head in the 7th grade.
8. In high school, Beau and Belle participated in the production and filming of "The Real World: Westfield." It premiered in December 1998 and made its reappearance at Beau's graduation party in May 2001.
9. Beau and Belle's favorite SingStar song is Run DMC's "It's Tricky."
10. Beau is a certified advanced open water scuba diver.
11. Belle has 2 fish named after Dame Judi Dench and Justine Simmons.
12. Beau currently has no pets. RIP Broadway.
13. When Belle was a freshman in college, she purchased two pieces of artwork that were created by Melissa of the Real World New Orleans. She found them on her website www.princessmelissa.com and then displayed them in her college dorm.
14. Beau has seven tattoos.
15. Belle played the clarinet in junior high and was a member of the Jazz Band.
16. Beau's favorite quote from Titanic is "you can be blasé about some things, Rose, but not about Titanic. It's over a hundred feet longer than the Mauritania and far more luxurious."
17. Beau and Belle's favorite day of the year is move-in day at the Real World house.
18. Beau is proud to be a classified 504 student, under the Americans with disabilities Act and spends his time educating others and singing about being 504.
19. Belle's favorite quote from Titanic is, "The water is freezing and there aren't enough boats!"
20. Beau is afraid of Alligators and Crocodiles
21. Beau and Belle were named best costume in 2008 by Ricky's float in the NYC Halloween parade. They were dressed as Double Dare. *
22. Beau is able to do an uncanny imitiation of Macy Gray's "I Try"
23. When Belle sucks helium, she sounds just like Lacey Chabert from Party of Five.
24. Beau and Belle outsource their photoshop needs for WWJBD to Dan Egan. Beau and Belle don't know how to photoshop.
25. Neither Beau nor Belle can remember the reason why they started their blog.
*This was the best day of their lives.
2. Belle's real names is Eileen
3. Beau's favorite season of the Real World is Seattle and his favorite character Irene
4. Belle's favorite season is Hawaii/ Las Vegas and her favorite character is Colin.
5. In 9th grade, Beau hosted a "Dress like your favorite Real World character" party. Belle dressed as Montana, Beau as Judd.
6. Beau has 9 toes (4 1/2 on each foot)
7. Belle had the second biggest head in the 7th grade.
8. In high school, Beau and Belle participated in the production and filming of "The Real World: Westfield." It premiered in December 1998 and made its reappearance at Beau's graduation party in May 2001.
9. Beau and Belle's favorite SingStar song is Run DMC's "It's Tricky."
10. Beau is a certified advanced open water scuba diver.
11. Belle has 2 fish named after Dame Judi Dench and Justine Simmons.
12. Beau currently has no pets. RIP Broadway.
13. When Belle was a freshman in college, she purchased two pieces of artwork that were created by Melissa of the Real World New Orleans. She found them on her website www.princessmelissa.com and then displayed them in her college dorm.
14. Beau has seven tattoos.
15. Belle played the clarinet in junior high and was a member of the Jazz Band.
16. Beau's favorite quote from Titanic is "you can be blasé about some things, Rose, but not about Titanic. It's over a hundred feet longer than the Mauritania and far more luxurious."
17. Beau and Belle's favorite day of the year is move-in day at the Real World house.
18. Beau is proud to be a classified 504 student, under the Americans with disabilities Act and spends his time educating others and singing about being 504.
19. Belle's favorite quote from Titanic is, "The water is freezing and there aren't enough boats!"
20. Beau is afraid of Alligators and Crocodiles
21. Beau and Belle were named best costume in 2008 by Ricky's float in the NYC Halloween parade. They were dressed as Double Dare. *
22. Beau is able to do an uncanny imitiation of Macy Gray's "I Try"
23. When Belle sucks helium, she sounds just like Lacey Chabert from Party of Five.
24. Beau and Belle outsource their photoshop needs for WWJBD to Dan Egan. Beau and Belle don't know how to photoshop.
25. Neither Beau nor Belle can remember the reason why they started their blog.
*This was the best day of their lives.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Diary of a Mad Black Woman: Bellisha and Beaubeau make their dreams come true
The following contains the detailed events of a recent Friday night and the quest to find Whitney Port. The bloggers would like you to know that copious amounts of Stella, Smithwicks, and distilled vodka were consumed during the creation of this entry.
1/23/09, 7:52 PM - Hoboken Path Station
Beau and Belle off to a shaky start - just missed the path but remain in high spirits.
Supplies:
Whit/Olivia twists
Notebook
Us weekly (earmarked to the page with Whit on the beach in Miami)
Cards
Vampire in a box
most importantly... DRIVE
8:01 PM - A Haiku
Eight oh one depart
Off to Whitney's apartment
I hope it's a blast.
8:06 - on path train
Train stops underground - dropping off mole people. More to come.
8:27 PM
SPOTTED: Beau and Belle in front of Whit's building! Beau freaked, false alarm but he chased people down the street. Starbucks on the corner, bet that's where she gets her morning cup of joe.
8:38 PM
Still no sign of Whitney and I'm pretty sure the couple I chased down the street was not them. why aren't there more people here doing the same thing? Reporting live from 3rd and 23rd.
PS Belle just saw Cam Anthony
Also, code word for when we see Whit is "Shake Shack."
8:46 PM
On pay phone on her corner. Calling Z100 to tell them what we're doing - drinking orange juice and vodka out of a water bottle. Belle is paranoid that people are onto us.
8:49 PM
No one is onto us. But there are a lot of Whitney look alikes in this neighborhood. Her presence is felt almost like a sixth sense. I'm drawn to her like Bella and Edward, or Jack and Rose, or Wall-e and Eva.
Where are you whit? Do you go to Rolf's German Restaurant for weinerschnitzel? Bull's Head tavern for a brewski? CVS for feminine products? Is Lyric Diner always your last stop on your way home from Tenjune? Why oh why did I have to see someone from high school and work while I stalk you?
9:00 PM
The cold is setting upon us like the freezing cold Lake Wissota. It feels like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. How cold? Freezing. Maybe a couple of degrees over.
9:38 PM
Beau and Belle at local watering hole, Bull's Head Tavern, hoping Whit will breeze in. Probably not because these bartenders think they are in Coyote Ugly but act like the mermaid in the hit movie Aquamarine.
A Haiku
UGLY BARTENDERS
YOU'RE NOT BRINGING SEXY BACK
BLOG ARE NOT FOR BARS.
Also, while bartenders slut it up and take shots, the poor coat check girl sits in the corner, dressed in black, reading a magazine - every inch of flesh covered. I bet Whit talks to her.
9:43 PM - A Poem, in four parts
Whit, we came to look for you,
On twenty third and third,
Your blatant absence makes us blue,
Our behavior has been absurd.
Whit, we came to look for you,
On this wintry day,
A subway ride, a short brisk walk,
There's so much left to say.
Whit, we came to look for you,
That's why we're across the street,
See you at Bull's Head Tavern,
Finally, the three of us will meet.
Whit we came to look for you,
We don't think that's a shocker,
We circle your block three, four times,
But promse that we're not your stalkers.
11:10 PM - King's Crossing
Beau and Belle meet friends and tell them their tales.
Spotted: CM making out with J. Jew at King's Crossing, lower east side
11:11 PM, guest blogger Jessica Bowers checks in
Here we are at an underground bar...surrounded by friends. These two bloggers next to me are obsessed with Whit. I am drinking vodka tonic and Belle is singing in my ear. But the big question is, where is Whit? And does she like being stalked?
12:06 AM
At fat Black Pussycat with our guest blogger Jessica "Boom Boom" Bowers. I wish Whitney woudl get here already and we could dance and play darts. Does anyone know if she's at Sundance? This is straight from my heart.
Free Association with Beau, Belle and Guest Blogger
Audrina - eyes, boobs, spacey
Teen Vogue - Lauren Conrad, Lisa Love, "boss's name that I don't know"
Laguna Beach - Kristin Cavallari, Stephen Colletti, black and white party
1/24/09 - 12:42 AM
Beau and Belle are in the 9th street path station.
A Haiku
Faces are flush
Drinks have been drunk
Slobs are going home
Where are you, Whitney?
1/23/09, 7:52 PM - Hoboken Path Station
Beau and Belle off to a shaky start - just missed the path but remain in high spirits.
Supplies:
Whit/Olivia twists
Notebook
Us weekly (earmarked to the page with Whit on the beach in Miami)
Cards
Vampire in a box
most importantly... DRIVE
8:01 PM - A Haiku
Eight oh one depart
Off to Whitney's apartment
I hope it's a blast.
8:06 - on path train
Train stops underground - dropping off mole people. More to come.
8:27 PM
SPOTTED: Beau and Belle in front of Whit's building! Beau freaked, false alarm but he chased people down the street. Starbucks on the corner, bet that's where she gets her morning cup of joe.
8:38 PM
Still no sign of Whitney and I'm pretty sure the couple I chased down the street was not them. why aren't there more people here doing the same thing? Reporting live from 3rd and 23rd.
PS Belle just saw Cam Anthony
Also, code word for when we see Whit is "Shake Shack."
8:46 PM
On pay phone on her corner. Calling Z100 to tell them what we're doing - drinking orange juice and vodka out of a water bottle. Belle is paranoid that people are onto us.
8:49 PM
No one is onto us. But there are a lot of Whitney look alikes in this neighborhood. Her presence is felt almost like a sixth sense. I'm drawn to her like Bella and Edward, or Jack and Rose, or Wall-e and Eva.
Where are you whit? Do you go to Rolf's German Restaurant for weinerschnitzel? Bull's Head tavern for a brewski? CVS for feminine products? Is Lyric Diner always your last stop on your way home from Tenjune? Why oh why did I have to see someone from high school and work while I stalk you?
9:00 PM
The cold is setting upon us like the freezing cold Lake Wissota. It feels like a thousand knives stabbing you all over your body. How cold? Freezing. Maybe a couple of degrees over.
9:38 PM
Beau and Belle at local watering hole, Bull's Head Tavern, hoping Whit will breeze in. Probably not because these bartenders think they are in Coyote Ugly but act like the mermaid in the hit movie Aquamarine.
A Haiku
UGLY BARTENDERS
YOU'RE NOT BRINGING SEXY BACK
BLOG ARE NOT FOR BARS.
Also, while bartenders slut it up and take shots, the poor coat check girl sits in the corner, dressed in black, reading a magazine - every inch of flesh covered. I bet Whit talks to her.
9:43 PM - A Poem, in four parts
Whit, we came to look for you,
On twenty third and third,
Your blatant absence makes us blue,
Our behavior has been absurd.
Whit, we came to look for you,
On this wintry day,
A subway ride, a short brisk walk,
There's so much left to say.
Whit, we came to look for you,
That's why we're across the street,
See you at Bull's Head Tavern,
Finally, the three of us will meet.
Whit we came to look for you,
We don't think that's a shocker,
We circle your block three, four times,
But promse that we're not your stalkers.
11:10 PM - King's Crossing
Beau and Belle meet friends and tell them their tales.
Spotted: CM making out with J. Jew at King's Crossing, lower east side
11:11 PM, guest blogger Jessica Bowers checks in
Here we are at an underground bar...surrounded by friends. These two bloggers next to me are obsessed with Whit. I am drinking vodka tonic and Belle is singing in my ear. But the big question is, where is Whit? And does she like being stalked?
12:06 AM
At fat Black Pussycat with our guest blogger Jessica "Boom Boom" Bowers. I wish Whitney woudl get here already and we could dance and play darts. Does anyone know if she's at Sundance? This is straight from my heart.
Free Association with Beau, Belle and Guest Blogger
Audrina - eyes, boobs, spacey
Teen Vogue - Lauren Conrad, Lisa Love, "boss's name that I don't know"
Laguna Beach - Kristin Cavallari, Stephen Colletti, black and white party
1/24/09 - 12:42 AM
Beau and Belle are in the 9th street path station.
A Haiku
Faces are flush
Drinks have been drunk
Slobs are going home
Where are you, Whitney?
Friday, January 9, 2009
Seasons of Booze
sung to RENT's SEASON OF LOVE
Five Thousand Twenty Nine Hundred Fourteen Cameras
Twenty One Fish Tanks and Three Hundred One Fish
Eleven Thousand Sixteen bright, shiny lightbulbs
How do you measure – measure a show?
In Ratings – In Night Clubs
In Hot Tubs – or late night fist fights
In cocktails – Confessionals
In Cities – In Strife
In Five Hundred Twenty One Thousand
Six Hundred Commercials
How do you Measure
Seven Strangers in a house?
How About Booze
How About Booze
How About Booze
Measure in Booze
Seasons of Booze
Seasons of Booze
Belle:
Six Hundred Twenty Eight Thousand people Audition
Twenty One Seasons and One Hundred Fifty Six Friends
Three Hundred Thousand Ninety Hours of filming
How do you measure, a show that never ends
Beau:
When Steven slapped Irene
Or Danny's mom died
When Paula said she ate
You know that she lied
It's Time Now - To Watch Out
For The Show Never Ends
Let's Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends
Five Thousand Twenty Nine Hundred Fourteen Cameras
Twenty One Fish Tanks and Three Hundred One Fish
Eleven Thousand Sixteen bright, shiny lightbulbs
How do you measure – measure a show?
In Ratings – In Night Clubs
In Hot Tubs – or late night fist fights
In cocktails – Confessionals
In Cities – In Strife
In Five Hundred Twenty One Thousand
Six Hundred Commercials
How do you Measure
Seven Strangers in a house?
How About Booze
How About Booze
How About Booze
Measure in Booze
Seasons of Booze
Seasons of Booze
Belle:
Six Hundred Twenty Eight Thousand people Audition
Twenty One Seasons and One Hundred Fifty Six Friends
Three Hundred Thousand Ninety Hours of filming
How do you measure, a show that never ends
Beau:
When Steven slapped Irene
Or Danny's mom died
When Paula said she ate
You know that she lied
It's Time Now - To Watch Out
For The Show Never Ends
Let's Celebrate
Remember A Year In The Life Of Friends
Friday, December 12, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Nana Fanna Fo Fanna, Mi My Mo Manna.... Nana
THE INITIAL STATEMENT
Yeah, hi. I tuned in to watch an episode of The Hills last night. Not Golden Girls: Huntington Beach edition. WTF is up wth Nana? Why did MTV feel compelled to dedicate 8 of the 10 minutes of the show where characters are actually conversing... to Nana?
First of all, NANA, if that is your real name... why aren't you disagreeing with Stephanie that Spencer is your favorite? In the grand tradition of elderly family members, aren't you supposed to claim that you have no favorites? That you love them all the same? And it's not like I think Stephanie should be your favorite because, ugh. But the point is, you shouldn't have a favorite. That's bullsh*t.
Second of all, why did Spencer need to explain the LC/Heidi situation to you? Do you live in the world? Do they not deliver Us Weekly, People magazine, and NBC to Huntington? Also, according to the Aftershow, you LOVE The Hills. You should know this feud like the back of your Pratt hand. So why play dumb?
And finally, have you met your grandchild Spencer Pratt? He talks around you like he assumes you can't hear what he's saying. How do you not see through him and that he was blatantly guilt-tripping Stephanie into visiting you? He is a maje prick. Does he really call you once a week? I don't know how you stand it. You either have the same tolerance for idiodacy as Chiara, or you're dumb as rocks in your old age.
Belle
THE REBUTTAL
"A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt." - Woodrow T. Wilson
I enjoyed The Hills last night. Usually, I'm disappointed by the lack of grandparents on my favorite reality tv shows. So to see Spencer and Stephanie interact with their Nana, to me, was a breath of fresh air. I think this is going to be a growing trend on tv and cant wait to see more of my favorite MTV stars (besides Joey from Real World Hollywood) interact with their grandmas. .
I wonder if Spencer realizes he's at a crossroads and thats why he consulted Nana? Let's be honest. This season is stale, everyone is waiting for The City, Lauren has alienated all of her BFFs, and how long can Spencer keep a feud with his sister going? We need new drama, and not the fake kind of drama but the really real kind. So I think its endearing Spencer brought his Nana into the thick of it, and I think its a strategic move. I'd like to see LC try and impart some words of wisdom on Nana because let's be honest, Nanas have already heard and seen it all.
On a side note, my own Nana died in a Nursing home in March 2005. I miss you. I should have been a better grandson and visited you more. I hope wherever you are, you are happy and with Poppop.
Beau
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
If Beau were President...
If Beau were President he would make Lauren Conrad Vice President. Every morning he would use his LG Shine from AT&T to call Lauren and discuss foreign and national policy. They would also create an all white fashion line branded WHITE HOUSE.
If Beau were Presdent he would make Spencer Pratt Secretary of Defense. He would turn Spencer into the ultimate fighting Maverick focusing all of his aggresive behavior off of his sister and onto Al Quadian loving terrorists. He would let Spencer wild in Afghanistan to personally hunt and kill Osama Bin Laden.
If Beau were President he would make Whitney Port Secretary of State. She has been to Paris twice, and everybody loves Whitney.
If Beau were President, he'd make Frankie Delgado Press Secretary because nobody gets a party started like Frankie.
If Beau were President he would make Lisa Love his Secretary of Interior (Design) because ever since she was a runaway teen she's had impeccable taste.
If Beau were President, he would make Adam Divello and Liz Gately joint Chiefs of Staff because they are American heroes, and can do no wrong.
If Beau were President, he would change the national anthem to "Womanizer."
If Beau were President, he would implement Taco Tuesdays and Waffle Shirt Wednesdays.
Finally, If Beau were President he would pardon Heidi Montag for all her bad decisions.
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