I sort of like reality TV

It all started in 1992.

I was 9 and six strangers were plucked from obscurity to live in a house and have their lives taped.

"Find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real… The Real World"

(Today I can say that in 7 different languages)

But it was this show The Real World that ultimately changed the way I watch tv because without The Real World and Road Rules there would be no Big Brother or Jersey Shore, no Fear Factor, Survivor or Amazing Race. No The Osbournes and lets face it, The Osbournes are the founding fathers of reality TV. Without those crazy fucks we would never have Gene Simmons Family Jewels, no Run’s House, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. No Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here, I Want to Work for Diddy, I Want To Be A Hilton, I Wanna Be a Soap Star. Scream Queens - would NOT exist. There’d be no True Life, Surreal Life, Simple Life, Buried Life, College Life, Dancelife, or My Life is a Sitcom. Made, Jackass, Punk'd, Life of Ryan, Pimp My Ride, Maui Fever, Rich Girls, Surf Girls, remember The Paper? Laguna Beach?? That spawned The Hills, The City, Bromance and the heinous Audrina.

None of these things would be possible without The Real World.

What would DVR be like? What would I be like??

For one thing... I’d probably read more.

But what is book smart when there is street smart? I’ve seen Celebrity Rehab and Sober House. I’ve seen Intervention, Thintervention and Hoarding: Buried Alive. Bad Girls Club taught me how to open a beer bottle with a lighter. Oprah’s Big Give taught me how to give.

I know what beauty is because I watched 8th and Ocean, Models NYC and The Agency.

I’ve probably learned just as much about the world watching Sarah Palin’s Alaska as I have Paris Hilton’s My New BFF.

And while there will always be my interest in the celebrity(Being Bobby Brown, Ashlee Simpson Show, Tommy Lee Goes to College, Living Lohan, Salt n’ Pepa, Hey Paula, Leave it to Lamas, Kimora Life in the Fab Lane, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America, Chaotic: Britney and Kevin, Fantasia For Real, 50 Cent: Money and the Power, Diddy’s Making the Band and my all time favorite Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood) it’s the shows about “real" people that seem to inspire me the most. "Real" people like Matt and Amy Roloff, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar, Kody and his wives Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn Brown.

These people are my family. They’re who keep me real.

Oh, and also the meerkats on Meerkat Manor.　

Love? What do I know about love? I know Flavor of Love, Rock of Love, A Shot at Love, For Love or Money, I Love Money, I Love New York, Daisy of Love, Megan Wants a Millionaire, Real Chance of Love, Bachelor, Bachelorette, Temptation Island, and Frank the Entertainer: a Basement Affair and did I ever tell you I know someone who knows someone that was on Paradise Hotel (2nd season).

I've seen when love works.

My Fair Brady, Khloe & Lamar, Tori & Dean, Harry Loves Lisa, Giuliana & Bill

And when it doesn't

Liza & David, 'Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave, Jon & Kate plus 8, Viva La Bam, Meet the Barkers, Hogan Knows Best

And whenever Super Sweet 16 gets old you can just change to 16 and Pregnant

Or Teen Mom

Or Teen Mom 2.

Which brings me to something...the wives. Oh, how I love me some wives.

Mob Wives, Basketball Wives, Football Wives, Ex Wives Club, and all the Real Housewives.

And the original ‘housewife’... The Anna Nicole Show

But if I had to pick a favorite. If Police Women of Broward County had a gun to my head and made me choose. I would have to say, American Idol. But I’ll settle for America’s Next Top Model, America’s Best Dance Crew, or America’s Got Talent or if I’m really desperate America’s Next Great Restaurant.

I like anything with America in the title.

And to think all this good old fashion American entertainment is because of one show. The Real World.

What a world.

Executive Assistant to Good Looking CEOs

Who are we? Beau and Belle are two high powered/super important bloggers with busy social lives and even more demanding TV schedules. The 2011 calendar has been filling up and they, like Bethenny, are having trouble doing it all while having it all. Beau wanted to turn to Xanax, Belle suggested finding an assistant.

Who are you?:
- Education requirements: 4 year college degree plus two years experience watching The Office(British or American)
- Computer skills: Working knowledge of PerezHilton.com and faceinhole.com (though Beau will retain control as artistic director), manage our iTunes accounts (download desired GLEE songs immediately following episodes - must have at least 20 GLEE songs on your iPod)
- Technical skills - ability to set both Beau and Belle's DVRs remotely (they don't know how)
- Athletic skills - must be able to run at least a half marathon (relatedly, must be comfortable carrying nipple guards at all times)
- Must be able to manage multiple movie reward accounts including Clearview and Regal (balancing reward points and managing medium soda coupons)
- Must have an outgoing personality and be able to make a lot of contacts, preferably in the reality television star space - MTV, BRAVO, VH1, E!, TLC, WE, Animal Planet, A&E, LOGO, and BET
- Preferably from one of the following towns: Beverly Hills 90210, Laguna Beach, or 8th and Ocean
- Netflix membership is a plus (must know movies quotes (at least 5 from Titanic))
- Text response time of under two minutes
- Discretion and ability to maintain the individual’s privacy as well as confidentiality of all corporate, personnel and research matters ie. Not afraid to unclog the toilet at a moments notice

Beau and Belles 2011 Oscar Predictions

The Academy Awards are this Sunday and we are anxious to see who will win? Who will wear what? And will this weekend be enough to send Rachel Zoe into labor? So while we know some people are shoe-ins (Colin Firth for The King’s speech and who we coincidentally predict for this year’s Best Speech) we thought it might be fun to predict some of Beau and Belles favorite categories.

Who will be made fun of the most? All signs point to Charlie but the Academy loves past winners. We should expect to hear a lot of Mel Gibson jokes(hopefully the one about Mel Gibson, Rabbi Shmooey and the 12 inch kielbasa)

Another category that we look forward to, who will have a white moment? Hopefully Cameron Diaz will stay home and eat popcorn. We predict this year’s white moment will go to J Hudson and sponsored by Weight Watchers.


Who is the most likeliest write in vote? We’re not sure if it’s ever happened before but we think this year might be the first and if anyone is going to win as a write in it should be Amanda Byne’s transformative portrayal of Marianne the ‘priss’ in Easy A.

Best Picture will undoubtedly go to Social Network, only because Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is not nominated.

Can't wait to find out which predictions comes true!

You can't stop the JETS

- sung to Hairspray's You Can't Stop The Beat

You can’t stop a running back
As he races down the field
You can try to stop the offense, boy
But ya know you never will
And you can try to ban my touchdown dance
But I just cannot stand still

Cause the ball keeps spiraling
Round and round
And my cleats keeping digging
In the ground
I was lost til I heard the shouts
Then I found my way

Cause you can't stop the Jets

Ever since the IZOD stadium came
Sanchez realized if he played hard
He could change up the game
And so I’m gonna drink and party
The best that I can today.

Beau and Belle's 2010 Recap

Top 5 Reality TV Moments (this list clearly sponsored by Bravo)
1. The Salahi's break into the White House - RHODC
2. Allison Dubois and her electronic cigarette - RHOBH
3. Scary Island - Housewives of NYC visit St John and KKB loses her sh*t
4. Nene to Greg "Ah have NEY-VA done. you. wrong!"
5. Heidi unveils 10 plastic surgeries









Top 5 Hookups
1.Taylor Swift and Jake
2. Jessica Bowers and Justin Bieber
3. Kim Zolciak and her baby daddy
4. Chelsea Handler and 50 cent
5. Kurt and Blaine (does it get any better than Teenage Dream?? Can you say Gay Glee Love 10 times fast??)











Top 5 Breakups
1. Jesse and Sandra
2. Scarlett and Ryan
3. Heidi Montag and Darlene Egelhoff
4. Simon Cowell and American Idol
5. Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel


Top 5 Beau and Belle moments
1. Beau running the NYC marathon! (he's so fast, the camera can't even focus)

2. Celebrating Belle's 27th bday at the glee live concert (adidas track suits and all)









3. Coming up with our Top 5 lists for 2010
4. Bronx Zoo 5k (the snow leopard, the polar bear, the bison, it was all amazing)
5. Adventurous run to Liberty State Park


Top 5 Books (did you know Beau and Belle are book buddies among other things? Well that just ended when Beau got a kindle for Hanukah. Beau reports that the books on Kindle have different endings so we can no longer be book buddies. This could be a top breakup)
1. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson
2. Born To Run - Christopher Mcdougall

3. Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins
4. Freedom - Jonathan Franzen
5. The Help - Kathryn Stockett

Top 5 New Shows
1. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, BRAVO (thank you Andrew Cohen)
2. The Walking Dead, AMC
3. Sisterwives, TLC (so good)

4. Bridalplasty, E!
5. Belle just discovered ABC's Modern Family and wants that as the 5th. Beau wants Animal Hoarders as his 5th.

Top 5 Movies we saw together
1. Harry Potter 7 Part 1 (tears were shed) - "Dobby never meant to kill! Dobby only meant to maim, or seriously injure!"
2. Easy A - "I want a one hundred dollar gift card deposited into my locker by noon tomorrow. Preferably to The Gap, but I'd also take Amazon.com, or Office Max. Actually make it Office Max - I have my eye on a label maker."
3. The Social Network - "If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook."
4. Burlesque - "Alice, hmm? Well, welcome to Wonderland."
5. Toy Story 3 - "Oh! That's just a dinosaur toy down the street, that's nothing, let just take care of that."

If There Had Been Glee Club In High School...

... I wouldn't have had to lie to my mom and pretend I was in winter track.

... Our homemade production of Scream would have been a musical, with numbers such as "I Don't Want to Die Tonight," "Sydney, Sydney," and "You Can't Stop the Blade."

... I wouldn't have eaten lunch alone in the auditorium.

... But I would have eaten tots with Mercedes. Even had a Tot-Off to raise money for a handicapped bus for sectionals.

... I would have had an extracurricular activity that wasn't a lie on my college applications.

... I wouldn't have denied my Jazz Band membership from the 8th grade.

... I wouldn't have bought so many Coke slurpees from 7-11 because they were always getting thrown in my face.

... I wouldn't have worked at a supermarket.

... My entrance to the Winter Gala wouldn't have involved a water bottle filled with vodka and an Apple and Eve juicebox. It would have been a flash mob dance-off to "All I Want For Christmas is You."

... I would have had a part in a school play. Instead of Asian Tourist #2.

... We would have started this blog 10 years ago.

Scream 4-15-2011

Every generation a movie comes along that will change the way we think. Wizard of Oz, Citizen Kane, Schindler’s List, Avatar. For Beau that film was Scream 1,2 + 3. Mainly Scream 2 but for the purpose of this blog entry I’ll say Scream 1,2 + 3. “WELL THERE’S ONE THING YOU’RE FORGETTING ABOUT BILLY LOOMIS… I FUCKING KILLED HIM” (Sorry. I have Scream tourettes where I get an uncontrollable urge to shout or type quotes from these movies) I was thrilled when production started on my favorite film franchise because I had honestly thought the ghost face killer had tripped over his final sofa, or popped out of his last closet, or had sliced his metallic blade into the soft fleshy torso of his final victim… but no... he’s back! I’LL SEND YOU A COPY. BAM! BITCH WENT DOWN And one thing I’ve learned from watching the trailer fourteen hundred times is that he’s stronger, scarier and deadlier than ever. Scream 4 promises to be another meta movie, where the killer is actually filming his own murders and if you pause the trailer at 0:48 you can see him setting up a camera for Gale to find. SURPRISE SURPRISE SOMEONE DIES AND GALE COMES RUNNING. This movie looks great and the best part is, it's coming to theaters so soon!

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